We’ve all heard about gaslighting – that sneaky, subtle manipulation that can leave us questioning our own reality. But recognizing it, especially when it’s happening to you, can be difficult. Gaslighting isn’t always obvious; it’s like fog creeping in, clouding what you know to be true about yourself and your experiences.

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What Exactly Is Gaslighting?

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Gaslighting is emotional manipulation that distorts your perception of reality, often making you doubt your memories, feelings, and even your sanity. It’s a tactic that keeps people second-guessing themselves, usually giving the manipulator power or control in the relationship. Gaslighting can happen anywhere – in romantic partnerships, friendships, families, and workplaces.

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Recognizing the Signs

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Here’s the tricky part – gaslighting is subtle. It often starts with seemingly small things that leave you scratching your head, wondering, Did I imagine that? Here are some signs to look out for:

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They Constantly Discredit Your Feelings
If someone dismisses or belittles your emotions, saying things like “You’re being too sensitive” or “That never happened,” they’re chipping away at your trust in yourself.

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They Twist Events to Make You Question Your Memory
When you bring up a past event, do they insist it happened differently, even if you remember it clearly? This rewriting of history is classic gaslighting, aiming to make you second-guess yourself.

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They Deny or Lie About Their Own Actions
If they repeatedly deny things you know they did or said, or even accuse you of “misunderstanding” or “overreacting,” it’s another red flag.

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They Shift Blame
Gaslighters rarely take responsibility. Instead, they spin things around, blaming you for their actions. You might hear phrases like, “You made me do it,” or “If you hadn’t done X, I wouldn’t have reacted this way.”

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You Feel Confused, Doubtful, or Anxious
Gaslighting can erode your confidence over time. If you frequently feel confused, overly apologetic, or like you’re walking on eggshells, this could be a sign that someone is manipulating you.

How to Handle Gaslighting

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Gaslighting isn’t easy to deal with, but you don’t have to face it alone. Here are some steps to reclaim your reality and emotional safety:

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Keep Track of Events and Feelings
Start journaling or documenting situations that leave you feeling unsure. Write down what happened, how it made you feel, and why you believe it was gaslighting. This record will help ground you when you start to doubt your perspective.

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Seek Outside Perspectives
Talk to people you trust – friends, family, or a therapist. Sometimes, a fresh viewpoint can validate your experiences and help you see the patterns clearly.

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Set Boundaries
Gaslighters tend to push boundaries, so asserting yours is key. Don’t engage with them on topics they consistently twist. Let them know when their behavior crosses a line and avoid situations where they can manipulate the narrative.

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Remember Your Reality
Trust yourself. You have the right to your feelings and memories. Remind yourself of your worth and your truth, even if someone is trying to shake it.

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Consider Support from a Community
Dealing with gaslighting can make anyone feel isolated and unsupported. Finding a supportive, judgment-free space to process your experiences is powerful. When you talk about what’s happening, you begin to see that you’re not alone – and that there’s a way out.

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Ready to Feel Seen and Supported?

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At Kinship, we believe that everyone deserves a space where they can show up just as they are, free from judgment. Gaslighting can make us feel alone, but with the right support, you can reclaim your confidence and clarity. Join Kinship’s community to find people who listen, understand, and uplift. You’re not alone, and you never have to be. Find your next Kinship session here.

Here, we’ll be with you, every step of the way.

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