The holidays are meant to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but dealing with a narcissist can make it feel anything but. Whether it’s a family member who dominates every gathering or a friend who makes every conversation about themselves, the holidays can bring their behaviors into sharp focus. Navigating these dynamics doesn’t mean sacrificing your peace. With the right strategies, you can protect your energy while keeping your holiday spirit intact.

Here’s how to handle narcissists during the holiday season:

1. Expect the Spotlight to Be on Them

Example: At dinner, they steer the conversation to their latest achievements or dramas, leaving little room for anyone else to share.

Narcissists crave attention, and holiday gatherings can be the perfect stage. Instead of trying to compete or redirect the conversation, decide ahead of time how much energy you want to give. Acknowledge their story briefly—“That’s interesting!”—and then shift your focus to others at the table.

2. Be Ready for Emotional Manipulation

Example: They guilt-trip you for not spending enough time with them, saying, “I guess I’m not important to you anymore.”

Narcissists often use guilt to control situations. During the holidays, this can escalate as they push for more attention or validation. Remind yourself that their feelings aren’t your responsibility. Respond with calm, neutral statements like, “I wish we had more time, too,” without over-explaining or apologizing unnecessarily.

3. Watch for Holiday Gaslighting

Example: You recall an incident from a past holiday, but they insist, “That’s not how it happened,” leaving you second-guessing yourself.

Gaslighting is a classic narcissistic tactic, and the stress of the holidays can make it even harder to handle. Trust your memory and instincts. If a conversation feels unproductive or manipulative, it’s okay to step away or change the subject.

4. Set Boundaries Around Gift-Giving

Example: They give an elaborate gift and expect excessive praise—or hold it over your head later with comments like, “After all I’ve done for you.”

Narcissists often view gifts as leverage. To protect yourself, focus on giving and receiving with gratitude, but don’t let their actions dictate your emotions. If their gift comes with strings attached, mentally disconnect from the expectations and respond with a polite but firm “Thank you.”

5. Limit Time Together When Possible

Example: They dominate the room during a party, and by the end of the night, you’re drained.

You don’t have to spend every moment with them just because it’s the holidays. Set limits on how long you’ll engage, and give yourself permission to take breaks. Step outside, check in with a supportive friend, or create moments of quiet for yourself.

6. Don’t Fall Into Their Drama

Example: They create tension at the table by picking fights or stirring up old conflicts.

Narcissists thrive on chaos, especially during emotionally charged times like the holidays. Instead of engaging, try to remain calm and non-reactive. Use phrases like, “Let’s talk about that another time,” or redirect the focus to something more neutral.

7. Prepare an Exit Plan

Example: You’re cornered in a one-on-one conversation that feels draining or uncomfortable.

Have a polite way to excuse yourself when needed. Whether it’s offering to help in the kitchen or stepping outside to take a call, giving yourself an out can save your energy and prevent prolonged exposure to their behavior.

How Kinship Can Support You

Dealing with narcissists during the holidays can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Kinship offers a safe, supportive space to process these challenges and learn how to maintain your boundaries. Through guided sessions, you’ll connect with others who understand what you’re going through and gain practical tools to protect your peace—even in the most difficult relationships.

This holiday season, let Kinship help you reclaim your energy, focus on what truly matters, and create space for the joy you deserve.

Sign up for a session today.