Friendships are supposed to feel like a safe space—somewhere to relax, laugh, and be yourself. But when a friend is narcissistic, it can feel like you’re walking on eggshells, constantly trying to meet their needs without any support in return. Narcissistic friends have a way of making you feel drained, questioning your worth, or even feeling guilty for focusing on your own life. But here’s the good news: you can keep your peace without cutting ties or compromising who you are.

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Signs You Might Be Dealing with a Narcissistic Friend:

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• They can’t let you have the spotlight – Whether you’re celebrating a new job or just sharing a funny story, somehow, they always shift the focus back to themselves. It’s like there’s an invisible rule that only their life gets the “main character” treatment.

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• Their compliments have a sting – Narcissistic friends often use “friendly” criticism that leaves you questioning your choices. They may dress it up as helpful advice, but deep down, you sense they’re more interested in tearing you down than building you up.

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• Everything’s a competition – Whether it’s a career, relationship, or even a new hobby, they always find a way to make it about who’s doing better. This constant one-upmanship can make you feel like you’re in a rivalry instead of a friendship.

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• They use guilt to get what they want – Narcissistic friends have a way of making you feel like you “owe” them your time, energy, and attention. It’s never about your boundaries or needs, only what they expect from you.

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• They’re dismissive when you’re down – In a healthy friendship, both people feel supported. But when you’re struggling, a narcissistic friend might seem annoyed, uncomfortable, or completely indifferent.

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How to Protect Yourself Without Losing Your Peace

Managing a friendship with a narcissist can be tricky, especially if this person has been in your life for a long time. But there are ways to stay true to yourself without getting caught up in their needs or drama:

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1. Start setting small boundaries – Begin by carving out time and space that’s just for you, like politely declining plans or taking longer to respond when you need a breather. Gradual boundaries help you get comfortable without feeling like you’re making a big declaration.

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1. Protect your wins – When you have good news or accomplishments, share them first with friends who genuinely support you. Save the details for those who celebrate with you rather than trying to outshine you.

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1. Get comfortable saying no – Narcissistic friends often push back against boundaries, so practicing saying “no” or politely bowing out when you’re drained is key. Remember, a good friend respects your limits without turning it into drama.

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1. Don’t engage in their competition – When they try to one-up or compare, take a step back. Let them “win” in their mind; you’re not required to play a game that doesn’t benefit you.

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How Kinship Can Support You Through This Process

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At Kinship, we know that setting boundaries, especially with close friends, can be tough. In our sessions, you’ll connect with people who understand the challenges of navigating these tricky dynamics. With tools and encouragement from our community, you’ll feel empowered to focus on friendships that truly support and uplift you, helping you reclaim your peace and energy without the guilt.

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Join us at Kinship.